Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Make a Relationship Last - 7 Steps Towards a Lasting Relationship


By Johnny Wayne

Just like fairy tales, we all dream of a perfect partner and wishes on the stars to make a relationship last. Who would not want to have those dreams and wishes by the way? Of course we all want to have it. A strong and a good relationship are one of the best supports that life can offer. Good relationship mixed with true love can change your life completely; It can strengthen your health, it can change your way of thinking about things from negative to positive, it can also change your ways of living and it can put a big smile on your face that when everybody see such a wonderful smile, they smile back at you. Poor relationship can also change you but not for the better. It can actually destroy you and eat you whole especially when you get drained of loving. Good relationship leading to forever is to be worked out with commitment, effort and the awareness to accept change. Unique as we all are, there are still common principles in all relationships for it to be meaningful, essential and exciting.

1. Establish a deeper connection with your partner. Get involved with your partner. Instead of focusing on his flaws, divert your attention to his good attributes, his willingness to love you until the end. Always find time to do activities together such as cooking, baking, walking, watching television and eating because in that way you will know him more and the connection between the two of you will become stronger.

2. Solve the conflict. Conflict is the spice and the unavoidable thing to any relationship. It is important that at the beginning, both of you acknowledge the problem. In that way, you will be able to talk about the issues and if you are to be blamed why it happened, accept it whole heartily and say sorry for what you have done. Doing so lightens the conflict and the partner will also take an effort to solve it. Keeping quiet is never a solution to it; it will just heighten up the issue.

3. Communicate. Communication does not only mean that you have to talk, it also means that you have to tell anything about your partner in all honesty. Direct communication is essential of all communications because when both of you shares openly your desires, needs, fears and worries, both of you feel that you trust each other.

4. Keep the element of surprise. Once in a while, surprising your partner is also helpful to make a relationship last. Even small things are memorable to each one when you give them surprisingly. Cooking for them is also heartwarming, as they say; "a way to the man's/girl's heart is through his stomach". Even if you feel the relationship is boring for a moment, surprising him is of aid to bring back the spark and spice of the relationship.

5. A habit to laugh. Even on the hardest situations, humor is a great therapy. Once in a while, show your partner the funny side of you, throws jokes even if it's senseless and tickle him until he tickles you back. Both of you may have not laughed at your jokes, but you may all laugh at how stupid you get because of each other.

6. Compromise. Healthy relationships are built on Give and Take. Never expect more on your relationship because disappointment will happen. Removing the expectation of perfection allows one partner to make a mistake without judgment, fear, or betrayal. Always recognize what is important to your partner as it builds feeling of support and compromise.

7. Expect ups and downs. One nature of relationship is going through the highest and lowest points in your life. Downs are the stressors that cannot be avoided and it can make you short-tempered, thus adding more conflict to the problem. First, always accept that both of you are going to such problem and do not blame each one of why it happened. Instead, take time to solve it and if there's a need to change, accept the change.

Building a relationship is an investment. You need to work for patience, acceptance, trust and willingness to learn and develop new skills. Relationship is never perfect, you cannot always be happy. Sometimes, you need to be hurt to learn because by learning, you appreciate more the relationship you and your partner established. To make a relationship last, you do not need to be perfect but you need to be imperfect so that you will see and learn how you love and how have you been loved despite of what you are because of him.

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